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Will Durst Needs Your Help

Our longtime readers all remember our great “Raging Moderate,” Will Durst, who was a columnist for CagleCartoons.com for many years. Will wrote his last column for us in October, 2019; he suffered a stoke and has been struggling through a long and difficult recovery.

See a collection of Will’s columns here. Will is a great political comic, and his columns read like his comic routines – perhaps they were his comic routines. I miss Will and I remain hopeful that he will return to writing for us.

Will’s wife, Debi, has put up a GoFundMe page to help pay for Will’s long and difficult recovery. I hope all of our Will Durst fans will visit the page. Here is Debi’s plea from the GoFundMe page:

Hey Everybody!

Debi Durst here. As some of you may know, Will had a stroke last October. Five months later, Will needs further therapy in a facility that can cater to his current needs. There is no insurance coverage available to pay for this expense. We have immediate need of financial assistance to make sure Will can stay at this facility and receive the appropriate amount of care so he can recover and eventually return home.

He is totally dependent on assistance at this point and will not regain further use of his left arm or leg without this intensive therapy.

Will has been an important voice in and for our community and he wants to get back to making people laugh out loud on purpose as soon as he can.

For all of you who have been on the receiving end of Will’s remarkable humor and talent, this is your chance to give him support to show how much you appreciate his efforts and help him on the road to recovery so he can get back on the boards and continue his mission of spreading love through laughter.
Please donate–any amount is neither too big nor too small.

Thank You from the bottom of our hearts.
Will and Debi Durst

Please visit Will and Debi Durst’s GoFundMe page at: https://www.gofundme.com/f/awukk-will-durst-needs-your-help


Here is the last column that Will wrote for us.

YOU CAN’T DO THAT
Raging Moderate, Will Durst
October 7, 2019

All of Washington is vibrating like the foam on a latte in the cup holder of a convertible jeep riding railroad tracks over a bridge. Republicans are scrambling to hold together their diverse coalition of rich white men frightened about the next election and well-to-do white men worried about the next election. Democrats also seem mildly engaged, which to them borders on a frenzy.

It’s all due to the substantial evidence that Donald Trump conspired to withhold military aid to Ukraine unless President Volodomyr Zelensky agreed to assist in the upcoming election by digging up dirt on Joe Biden’s family. A great way to resolve this would be to launch an investigation into corruption activities by all family members of the executive branch of government, past and present, but that’s probably not going to happen.

The proof of Mr. Trump’s malfeasance consists of texts, emails, depositions, multiple whistleblowers and a little thing called Trump’s own admission. Either he doesn’t believe he can commit a crime, doesn’t think anybody cares, or considers himself untouchable (stemming from the fact that lately, nobody wants to touch him).

The problem with swimming with Trump is he’s constantly pooping in the pool and expecting everyone to pretend not to notice while smiling at the honor. Then he pees from the high board and calls it liquid gold. And still his enablers are surprised when they get out and no one will lend them a towel.

It was bound to happen: you cut enough corners, eventually all you’re left holding is a hole, hopefully big enough to hide in. Which is what all of his staffers and appointees are looking for right now as the investigation spreads like basement mold.

He then didn’t just double down, he quintupled down by publicly threatening to ask China to do the same thing. First he leverages Ukraine, then China, who’s next; Wakanda? Ruritania? Fredonia? He’s already got Absurdistan’s support, aka: Fox News.

Why does Trump have to dig up dirt on anybody when he has plenty Trump branded dirt in his own back yard? Obviously, he’s not going to give away his extremely valuable dirt for free, but couldn’t he lend Biden a couple of wheel barrels full at 10 percent interest?

The man has never heard the words, “You can’t do that.” From anybody. Ever. Whether it concerned legal, ethical, moral or strategic matters. He’s Billy Mumy in that Twilight Zone episode. Either you agree with what he wants or suffer the consequences. Hopefully he’ll hear “No, I’m sorry, you can’t betray your oath of office, you’re fired” from the American people soon.

But right now, the president is double-dog daring Congress: “Yeah, I did it, and I’ll do it again, and who’s going to stop me? You? Right, you and what army?” Even though he’s under intense fire for abuse of power, the House of Representatives – controlled by Democrats – decides this information is so critical, they immediately spring into action… and take a two- week recess.

But in the middle of October, when they get back, Congress is expected to buy a one-way ticket on the Impeachment Train without any idea of where it’s going, when it’ll get there or how much it’s going to cost.

And as usual, checked bags are extra.

Will and Debi Durst

That’s Will and Debi Durst above. Your support for Will’s recovery is much appreciated – we want him back!  Visit: https://www.gofundme.com/f/awukk-will-durst-needs-your-help

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Will Durst on Satire

Decades after being dismissed by George S. Kaufman as a genre that “closes on Saturday night,” satire, like the measles and mumps, is making a comeback. And in many quarters, remains the most feared of the three conditions.

Some experts hold to a strict definition: “Satire portrays a viewpoint, while intending something different.” The most famous example being Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal,” the essay in which he advised Ireland’s poor to alleviate their poverty by selling their babies as food for the rich. At least we assume he was kidding. Hopefully no besotted chefs replicated his ingredients list.

Cartoon by Gary McCoy

Another example is the CIA’s assertion that “we don’t torture anybody,” when obviously what they meant was “yeah, we’ve been torturing people since way before we assured you we weren’t. And we’ve gotten pretty good at it.” You could say the CIA is America’s only straight up satirical organization. Proof that satire can exist without laughs.

Modern satirically has loosened up to embrace many forms of humor: sarcasm, cynicism, scorn, contempt, bile, ridicule and recently, an endless fascination with body parts and fluids. Anything to spotlight perceived injustice. Tweak the nose of pomposity. Kick arrogance in the groin.

Seth Rogen and his stoner buddy, that darn Franco guy, first thrust funny onto the front pages with their movie, “The Interview;” a farce about assassinating the President of North Korea. Which you could say, the President of North Korea did not find amusing. You could also say armadillo snouts make inferior shot glasses.

Despots and extremists have the sense of humor of asphalt. With the emphasis on the first syllable. And yes, that’s an example of using a body part as humor. So, in response, North Korea orchestrated a monumental hack of the studio releasing the film. Doing damage to the economy and scaring the bejesus out of Wall Street. We know this happened because the CIA said it didn’t.

The fracas was exacerbated when Hollywood celebrities went to the mats defending free speech while imploring the public to boycott websites exhibiting their pilfered emails, revealing them to be petty snarks. This is known as irony, a brother to satire.

A greater tragedy is the thousands of Americans tricked into watching this cinematic opus under the guise of nationalistic pride. “Laugh, or the terrorists win.”

Then in January, the world witnessed the ghastly murders of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo staffers by lunatic Muslim assassins. Who claimed to be offended by a cartoon. Which confused many US citizens. France has satirical magazines. America has Spongebob. It’s a trade-off.

It’s sad. Call yourself a satirist in America today and folks think you have goat legs. And play the pan flute. Especially when you consider the grand tradition of American political humorists- Twain, Bierce, Mencken, Rogers, Bruce, Krassner, Trudeau, Carlin, Hannity and the Cheneys.

The teachable moment here is how imperative it is we encourage artists to stay on the offensive. To mock and scoff and taunt for the sake of democracy. They should be stopped on the street and thanked for their service. Laugh, or the terrorists win.

Patriots on both sides of the political spectrum need to rally and support our brave perpetrators of mockage and scoffsome taunterating. And to do it even after the CIA says it’s okay to stop. Especially then. Je Suis Charlie. Je Suis Hebdo.

—

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about about his new one-man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG,” and info about the San Francisco premier of the documentary film “3 Still Standing,” on January 29th @ the Marines Memorial Theater.

Email Will at [email protected]. Visit to willdurst.com to find about more about his new CD, “Elect to Laugh” and calendar of personal appearances.